Please Don't Hate Me For I Have Sinned
by Ma'ane'i No Ke Aloha
Summary: After Where Did You Sleep Last Night. Everything has changed. Better summary inside.
1. Chapter 1

**Discalimer: I don't own One Tree Hill.**

**Hey guys! This is my new story. Please review and tell me what you think.**

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**Prologue**

These events take place after "Where Did You Sleep Last Night".

After a minor accident, Haley was told that she had lost her baby. Lucas wants to get Brooke back. Peyton realized that she trully loved Jake. Brooke is still seeing Nick. On a drunken night, Lucas and Haley slept together. Nathan decided to go to Duke.

Five years later.  
Lucas is with Peyton. Brooke and Nick are married. Lucas and Brooke share custody of Jordan Scott. Nathan is a basketball player for the Lakers and shares an appartement with Jake who is his agent.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey guys! Thanks for the reviews. here is the first chapter. Hope you'll like it. Please review._

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Chapter 1

12th October 2011 - Lucas and Peyton's appartement

Lucas was waiting for Brooke who was supposed to bring their daughter Jordan. She was already ten minutes late, like always.

Finally he heard a knock on the door. There they were. Brooke, his ex-wife, and his daughter. Jordan was a cute little girl. She was rather small for her age, she had long dirty blond hair and deep blue eyes. Each time he looked at her, Lucas couldn't believe she had already grown so much, he couldn't believe that he had already been a father for four years.

"Hi daddy," Jordan hugged her father before running to play in her bedroom.

"Hey Brooke." Lucas smiled uneasily to the beautiful young woman in front of him.

"Hey Luke," Brooke replied softly. Why was this so awkward? Why couldn't they have a normal and tension free conversation? "So where is Peyton?" Way to erase the tension.

"Uh, she's not there." Lucas answered. Actually he didn't know where she was and he couldn't care less. They didn't really talk anymore, in fact they didn't really do anything anymore.

"Ok, well I'm gonna go." Brooke turned to leave, but Lucas grabbed her wrist.

"Wait, you don't want to come in, we could have some coffee and talk." he offered.

"That would be nice, but I have to go home, Nick's waiting for me."

Right, Nick. How could he have forgotten. Nick. Brooke's husband.

"Maybe another time." she said kissing him on the cheek.

"Yeah, bye Brooke, say hi to Nick for me." "I will." For that she would have to see him first, which certainly wouldn't be tonight, since he probably wasn't home and wouldn't be before late in the night, or early in the morning.

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Haley quickly dressed, took the money on the nightstand and walked towards the door. Taking a last look at the room, she saw the naked man laying beneath the sheets. His left hand was hanging out of the bed and she could clearly see the wedding band on his finger.

It wasn't the first time. A married man cheating on his wife with her. Besides, this guy was one of her usual "clients". She would have sex with him at least once, if not twice, a month.

She walked in the cold streets to her crumpy appartement, ignoring provocating and rude things that were shouted to her. She was used to being called a slut, a whore or anything else. This was usual.

This was her life.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you for the great reviews. Here is the new chapter. The flashbacks are in italic._**

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Chapter 2**

When Brooke woke up, she turned to the other side of the bed only to see that it was empty. Nick hadn't come home. But Brooke didn't care, actually, she had stop caring a long time ago. Standing up, she took a look at the picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of Jordan, Lucas and Brooke taken two years ago, when they were still a happy family, maybe not conventional, but happy.

After a quick shower and dome coffee, she went to work. She had become a great fashion designer, but that wasn't enough, and everyday she tried to figure out when exacty had her life become like this. She was married to a man she didn't love anymore, not exactly sure if she had ever really loved him. She was in love with a man who had and will always love someone else. Her best friends had either disapeared or become hypocritical bitches. The only good thing in her life was Jordan, and even that...

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Nathan was lying on his bed, unable to sleep. Five years ago today, he had lost the most important thing in his life.

_"Nathan please! Please don't say that... I'm sorry, I never meant for it to happen" She wanted to continue but her body has become too weak to even stand. Taking his hand in hers, she hauls herself up and looks in his eyes. And she can see it. The love, its there, but there is also pain and anger. He stands there telling her its over, telling her he doesn't want to be with her anymore. He's being so cold. She hurt him so much._

_"Haley, what did you thought was gonna happen? Did you think that we would just put this behind us and forget it? How could I forget? How could you do this? This is best for both of us. I wish there were another way, but, I don't love - I can't." His eyes were filling up, he couldn't say it, he did love her, and right here right now, he had to stand in front of her and tell her he doesn't. But she hurt him too much. He didn't want to leave her, but he couldn't stay with her. Her tears weren't the only ones falling. He let go, as quickly as possible, pushing her away._

_"Say it Nathan! Say you don't love me anymore!" She shouted in anger, tears falling on her face. She wish she would stop crying, but she couldn't, this was too hard. "Nathan, please..." She wished she could stay strong. She knew he did love her. "Say it..."_

_Nathan ran his fingers through his hair and looked down and the young woman in front of him. She was shivering. He just wanted to hold her, but it wasn't going to happen, ever again. He neded to do this. "I don't love you anymore, Haley, I... don't"_

_"No Nathan! You can't mean it. Look at me in the eyes and sat it..." She whispered._

_Nathan looked deep into her deep chocolate eyes. The ones who once hold so much promises. Promises who were now broken. "I don't love you anymore." He said coldy._

_Haley's heart sank and she ran away. He stood there watching the love of his life disappear. His heart was breaking. He didn't thought it was possible for a heart to break twice in such a short lapse of time, but apparently it could._


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm sorry for the delay, I've been really busy lately. Thanks for the reviews, you guys are great. I know this chapter is short, but I'll try to update more soone. Anyway please review, it'll make my day._**

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Chapter 3**

Lucas laid on his couch, flicking through pictures of himself and Brooke wondering how he could have let her go. She was the only woman he ever truly loved and she was married to another man while he was stuck in a loveless relationship. Sure, he cared about Peyton, or at least he did once, but he never loved her like he loved Brooke. Peyton never really loved him either actually, she thought she did at one point, but had soon realized that what she felt for him was nothing compared to what she felt for the man she truly loved. Two lost souls who had watched the one they loved walk away, that was what they were, what had brought them together. But now, even the comfort of their mutual loneliness wasn't enough.

Brooke sat on an empty bed, contemplating her life. What she had done of it, who she had become. She remembered the time, years ago, when she had dreams and hope, when she was yound and free, when everything semed possible. And there she was now facing the endless absence of her husband with indifference. It didn't matter to her, she had stopped loving him a long time ago. Everyone, including Lucas, thought she was happy with Nick, that her life was a dream come true: an apparently good and quite handsome husband, a great career. What else could she want? She wanted the only thing she thought she couldn't have, Lucas. She still loved him, whe always had, despite everything they had done or said.

Haley fell to her knees in her appartement after another night spent "working". She let out heart-wrenching sobs, but nobody could him them, she was alone. She wondered how her whole life had become what it was, how she had become who she was. She was stuck in that life. It wasn't meant to last. And when she looked back a few years ago, she cried even more, filled with regrets. Her past seemed like another life, the life someone else would have lived. It was nothing but a fading memory.

Nathan sat amongst empty beer bottles, staring silently at a framed picture of him and Haley, the only one he had kept. Gripping it in his hands, he threw it in anger against the bottles and it crashed on the floor, shattered. And Nathan sat there, a lonely tear on his face. he was living his dream, playing in a professional basketball team and his favourite what's more. But this wasn't the life he had dreamed of. He bit his quivering lip and looked at the broken pieces on the floor, he had no intention of putting them back together, he couldn't. He let out a sigh, resting his head on his arms. And he cried.  
He cried for his himself, for Haley, for the child they had lost, for the pain she had caused him, for the hurt he had felt when she had slept with Lucas, for their shattered love, broken like the picture, for his regrets, for the mistakes they made, for a past that would never return, for their broken promises.  
His heart broke when he lost her and it never healed, never would. Sometime, he wished he was dead, so the pain would just go away. Sometime, he laid motionless in bed, praying his aching heart to stop. The world kept spinning, life kept going and he relished in memories of a better days. Days when he had dreams, hope, love, a future.


	5. Chapter 5

_Here is a small chapter. The next one should be up soon. Meanwhile, please review._

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**Chapter 4**

Sitting alone in her small appartement, Haley thought back to the day when things had really started to go downwards.

_Haley walked into the café, and Lucas twirled around in his chair. Eyeing her, he noticed her appearance. Puffy eyes, shaky hands holding her stomach, quivering chin._

_"Haley? What's wrong?" He asked, with no idea of what was coming next. He knew Nathan had left her, but it had been a few days ago. Walking over to her he layed his hands on her arms softly, watching her fall apart as she wrapped her arms around him, almost falling to her knees, but he kept her stable as always._

_"Lucas, Im sorry..." She whispered shakily._

_"Me too, I know you're hurt, I know you miss Nathan, we made a mistake and its my fault..." He began but she pulled away, biting her bottom lip and shaking her head. "Haley, why do I get the feeling, thats not what you're talking about?" He watched her body shake as her head dropped._

_"Im pregnant and-"_

_"You're..but I thought, the accident..?" Looking into her eyes, he finally understood. "Its mine..." He finished. Turning around he put a hand on the wall. "Dammit Haley!" Lucas yelled. Haley looked at him shocked. She hadn't expected him to be thrilled, but that._

_"I didn't choose this Lucas! What do you expect me to do about it? And I have as much to lose as you do! And I have lost it all...I lost mu baby, Nathan left me, and now I'm pregnant with his brother's child." Haley screamed out of anger and fear._

_"Well Haley Im sorry that Nathan left, and you know I'm sorry for the baby. But what do you expect me to do? Throw everything away like you always have? Im not like you Haley. When I love people I don't push them away. I love Brooke, I can't met her go." Lucas yelled. A small tear rested on his cheek as he looked at Haley in the eyes._

_"Lucas, what do you want me to do?" Haley asked. She knew she would never get an abortion. She couldn't. Even if this child wasn't Nathan's, it was still her baby and she had already lost one, she wasn't going to do it again. She couldn't. Even if that meant losing Nathan forever._

_"I don't know Haley... I have to go see Brooke." He said as he left the café, leaving Haley in shock. Dan had done the same thing to his Karen, his mother She thought he would be different about it, knowing how difficult it was. Both Scott brothers left Haley on her own. She was all alone, with no one to turn to._

_"This isn't what I wanted. This isn't how it was supposed to be." She whispered._


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey guys. I'm sorry it took me so long to update but my computer broke down so I couldn't post. Hope you enjoy this chapter, please review._**

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**Chapter 5**

Brooke and Nick had spent the last three year together. Thet had bumped in each other after hers and Lucas' divorce.

«Hey sweety, missed me?» Nick asked when he got home that night.

«You know I did.» But Brooke has secretly spent the whole day thinking of Lucas, and felt so guilty to wish to be with him, after all that Nick had done for her. «Can we talk later, I have to finish something.» Brooke lied. She didn't want to be talking to Nick when was thinking about Lucas. She felt so alone.

«Okay, I need to go out for a while anyway, don't wait up. I love you. » Nick said. She just nodded, incapable of returning the words.

He left and she stared around the empty apartment.

« What am I doing? I love Lucas, why is everything so complicated ? » She said to herself. She just sat there thinking for awhile and then walked into her bedroom and closed the door. She knew Nick wouldn't be coming soon, they hardly ever saw each other these days but she didn't care .

Opening the closet door, she pulled out an old dusty box. Photos she knew she shouldn't have held onto. She sat on the floor as she looked at some old photos. She focused on one particular picture. It was her and Lucas, it had been taken back when they were in high school.

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Haley was sitting on a motel bed, waiting. Her client should be coming soon. He was her most regular client. As she fished through her bag to find her lipstick something fell down. She didn't even have to glance down to know what she was about to face. Her knees became weak as she bent down and placed her hand over some old photos. Photos she knew she shouldn't have held onto.

She looked through all the photos of her and Nathan. They were happy in all of them, and always had their arms around each other. A lump made its way to Haley's throat and her hands became shaky, she needed to shake this desperation to be with Nathan. She didn't get any more time think about how lonely and miserable she was without him as she heard a knock on the door.. She threw all of the pictures back into her bag and openned the door.

« Hey. » The man entered the room.

« Hi, Nick. » Haley replied closing the door.


	7. Chapter 7

_Here is a new chapter, I'm sorry it took so long. Please review_**.

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**Chapter 6**

Lucas was sitting on his bed, Jordan was asleep, Peyton wasn't home yet and she probably wouldn't be back until late. He walked to his dresser and openned the top drawer, from underneath a pile of shirts he retrieved a blue and white frame. It was a picture of him and Brooke. As soon as he saw it the memories came flooding back.

_Five Years ago._

_"Brooke" Lucas took a deep breath before turning to face her._

_"What are you doing here" She whispered._

_What was he doing there? He shouldn't be there. But just because he shouldn't be didn't mean that he didn't want to._

_"Brooke, just let me say this, you don't have to say anything, just listen. I know I've scewed up. I hurt you, many times. You've probably moved on, found someone else, someone that can make you happy. And that's what I want, Brooke, for you to be happy, but I can't handle this anymore... there was a time when we were happy, you and me, we were both really happy." Lucas' eyes were filled with tears and Brooke was sobbing._

_Brooke sighed. "Lucas..."_

_"Please let me get this out. I can"t handle this, it hurts to be without you. I know that what I did with Haley hurt you, and it hurt Nathan. I know that, but you know..." Brooke was beginning to cry harder. " You hurt me too. Just like I hurt you. I know it's not an excuse, and I'm sorry for what I did. And...I still love you, don't forget that, love you, I have loved you all along."_

_"Luke... why are you doing this? We can't, it's not right."_

_"What is not right? We aren't doing anything wrong"_

_"Not, but..."_

_"But?"_

_"I'm scared, I'm afraid that you'll hurt me again."_

_"I can't promise that you'll never hurt again, but I can promise you that I'll do everything I can to make you happy. And I promise to love you forever."_

_They moved closer to each other._

_"I..." Brooke looked into his eyes, "I love you too, and I can't help it." Lucas grabbed her wrist and pulled her to him, kissing her like face to his, kissing her like they were dying._

_" I want to be with you Lucas..." Brooke whispered when the pulled apart, her hand still on his cheek._

_"I'm the guy for you Brooke Davies."_

Lucas' heart exploded at the memory. Everything he had said then was still true. He loved Brooke and he missed her.


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